Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
