did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
