I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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