apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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