Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
