no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
