1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
