People in love make me want to vomit
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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