I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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