you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
