I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
