u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
