is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
