I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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