it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
