Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
