yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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