Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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