He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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