Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
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he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
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Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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