would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
