Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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