he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
