It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
