Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
