she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
