Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
