I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
