thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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