I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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