Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
