You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
