you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
