She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
