i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize