I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
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He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
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Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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