And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
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reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
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You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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