he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
