tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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