I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
it's like heaven, but drunker
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
