You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
