I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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