Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize