i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
