i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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