Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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