I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
