they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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