I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I deserve this hangover.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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