I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize