I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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