K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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