You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
it wasn't lemon gatorade
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
