I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
