Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I did not marry a roomba.
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