you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
