I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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