I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You're earring is so big in my mouth
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
