It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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