I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
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I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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