I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
