State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
