You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Success! We fucked roommates!
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