i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Sorry about my life...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
