just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
